A year and a half ago, I didn’t really know what surrogacy was. If you had asked me, I probably could have given you an answer about what it was, but I didn’t exactly understand it. It wasn’t on my radar, and it wasn’t anything I had ever thought about. My only experience with surrogacy was another mom whose kid was in my kid’s preschool class. She was very pregnant, and one day at school I asked her when she was due. She told me that she was due in two weeks and then quickly added, “but it’s not my baby.” Excuse me?!
Then, like most people who are under-educated about surrogacy, I am positive I gave her a really stupid, confused look and was hoping she’d explain further so I wouldn’t have to ask anymore questions (I’m not exactly the most tactful person when asking questions). Thankfully, like many kind surrogates who deal with people not understanding the process, she patiently explained to me that she was a gestational surrogate who was carrying a baby for a couple who were unable to get pregnant. I was a little blown away by the mechanics of it all. It took me a bit to comprehend it and take it all in. I mean, I had a hard time being pregnant with my own three kids. I was not the glowing, love-to-be-pregnant type. Don’t get me wrong—I was super grateful that I was able to get pregnant, but I just sort of sucked at it. The idea of it all was awesome, just maybe not all the pregnancy stuff that goes along with it. But this person. This person was carrying a baby for someone else. She was giving the gift of a baby to a couple who desperately wanted one. Mind. Blown.
Fast-forward about six months, and I’m standing at the bus stop striking up a conversation with Jennifer White, the Director of Colorado Surrogacy. She was telling me how she and her sister, Attorney, Ellen Trachman, had just started a surrogacy firm in Colorado. I felt thrilled that I even sort of knew what the heck she was talking about (thank you preschool mom surrogate friend!). I had a trillion questions, which Jennifer graciously answered. I then told her if she ever needed marketing help, to let me know!.To be honest, I had a marketing job at the time, and I’m not sure how serious I was when I said it. Kind of like when people say, “Well let me know if you ever need anything” but sometimes it’s just a polite thing to say. But I had put it out into the universe (at the bus stop).
Fast-forward again another 6 months. My life basically imploded after a horrible divorce; I had 3 young kids and had recently lost that aforementioned marketing job. Jennifer and I met for coffee the day I lost the other job, and she mentioned she had a need for some marketing help for Colorado Surrogacy, but it may only be a few hours. I was so game. Whether you believe in God or a higher power or just the universe, it seemed something or someone was at work here. I was a hot mess. Like the hottest, messiest hot mess ever and I was questioning what was even important anymore. In a time in my life when everything was falling apart, Jennifer and Ellen took a chance on me (because that’s the type of women they are), and I was offered a chance at a job that was meaningful. A job where I got to use my marketing skills, my love for babies, and my desire to help people. Holy crap. Jackpot.
Since beginning my work with Colorado Surrogacy, I’ve learned so much. Not just about the surrogacy process itself and how it works (trust me, I’ve learned a lot about that—starting with the very basics like the difference between traditional surrogacy and gestational surrogacy!). More importantly, I’ve learned about the struggles of Intended Parents trying to have a baby. I’ve learned about gay couples who desperately want to have their own biological child. I’ve learned about single people who haven’t met “Mr. Right” or “Mrs. Right” but their dreams of a baby are very much still real. In every one of these situations, surrogacy can make their dreams come true.
In addition to the Intended Parents, I’ve seen and heard from some of the most kind-hearted, gracious, selfless women ever. Surrogates. They are willing to give up their bodies for nine-months (okay, 9.5 months really, but who’s counting) to carry a baby for someone else. For. Someone. Else. Do you realize how huge that is? So haters, go on and hate (and boy do they hate), but these women? They rock it.
And lastly, after attending a company retreat last month, my cup runneth over even more when meeting the other amazing, inspiring women who work for Colorado Surrogacy, New Mexico Surrogacy, and Montana Surrogacy. Each one had her own story about why she chose to work in surrogacy. Three previous surrogates. Several with infertility issues. And all with a deep passion to help people make babies. These women – they are incredible, and it is an honor and pleasure to work with such compassionate, intelligent, driven people.
So while my “how I got into surrogacy” story may not be as dramatic or interesting as some, it sure is an important story to me. Surrogacy changes lives every day. It has changed my life. It has given me purpose and meaning and reset my “what’s important” meter in a time when I desperately needed it. So the next time you hear someone or read something about those women “renting out their uteruses” or how this is not natural and how “God intended it,” I hope you’ll remember how many lives surrogacy changes and how it changed mine. Throughout the next few weeks, you’ll get to hear from other amazing women from Colorado Surrogacy and how they chose the surrogacy path.
I invite you to check out our website to learn more about surrogacy and how to get started.