Dear Sassy Surrogate: I'm nervous my IPs are going to make extreme requests...
Dear Sassy Surrogate,
I am nervous about matching with my IPs and if they are going to make any extreme requests. I am in several FB groups and there are so many stories out there it really does make me worried. I know Colorado Surrogacy is a smaller agency, so does that mean I have less choice in who my IPs are?
Help, I’m a Nervous Nelly
Dear Nervous Nelly,
Social media groups can be a great support and full of beneficial information, but as with anything it also means that people post on the weird or crazy things that happen as well – it’s far more fun to tell the bad or scary stories than the boring ones that end up great! Yes, Colorado Surrogacy is a smaller agency, but that is one of the things that makes it so fantastic! We really focus on personal matching, meaning making the right fit for you and the IPs making sure that your morals, ideals, wants and requests are similar. We work hard to get to know you and the IPs before matching you. We want you to be comfortable with who you are matched with and be able to build that relationship with each other throughout the process. We discuss special requests or any preferences the IPs, or you, might have during the pregnancy during the match meeting. You always have a choice, we do not just match the next two in line. It’s not fewer choices, it’s better choices!
Things can sometimes get a little strange during the legal process, as this is where specific requests are made and put into the contract. We’ve definitely heard the crazy stories, too, so before we have a little fun discussing some of these, remember that some of these requests are extreme and not typical!
Eating only organic – not a ridiculously extreme request but can be a costly one, you may want to discuss with your lawyer having a larger monthly or grocery stipend.
GPS Tracking the GC – Not sure who would agree to this, but you never know ;-).
No dying hair. No manicures or pedicures. These typically depend on your OB and their approval.
No doing any exercise except walking. No Yoga. No Marathons. For some of us this isn’t even an issue ;-). You definitely want to consult the clinic and your OB before exercise. It may also vary and change throughout the process.
No using the microwave or being within 10 feet of a microwave. I would say this is a little out there, but remember there is probably a reason why the IPs see this as important.
No having your cell phone near your mid-section. No cell phone near stomach unless in airplane mode.
Travel restrictions can cause difficulties. What if something happens to an out-of-state loved one..? Each contract will have some travel restrictions because of the court order in place and where the child needs to be born, but we’ve heard of some pretty extreme requests, such as never being more than 20 miles from the hospital the GC was planning to give birth at.
No jumping on a pogo stick.
No x-rays machine at airport—pat down only (I personally did do this one without being requested, just to be safe).
Milk – everything from no milk/dairy, to a specific amount and kind.
Fish – specific kinds, limitations or expectations to eat a certain kind.
No going to farms or petting the animals.
No eating pork.
No high fructose corn syrup.
Only olive oil for cooking.
As with anything, some of these may be a big deal to you and some may not. That is why Colorado Surrogacy works so hard to match you with the right IPs and know about any requests as soon as possible. Remember these are called extreme for a reason. Always feel free to talk with our team about your concerns and if you are nervous about any requests in particular.