Surrogate Story: August
What month and year was your surrogate baby born?
What originally inspired you to look into surrogacy?
"Surrogacy is something I learned about as a teenager, and it's always stuck with me. I really wanted to be able to make a difference to someone."
What was your favorite or most memorable moment during this whole process?
“The gender was a surprise the whole pregnancy and when the doctor delivered the baby (via C section) she held the baby up and let the IF announce that it's a boy. I'll remember this moment and the look on his face forever.”
What was the most unexpected part of this process?
“Honestly, how easy everything was. It didn't necessarily feel easy in the moment but looking back, everything was really smooth, and I didn't really struggle with anything, even the IVF with all its injections.”
How was the matching process?
"Matching was a breeze. Once the right couple came along...I think it took about 2 months maybe. Once we decided that we both wanted to pursue this match, the whole process went really fast."
How was the pregnancy and how involved were the Intended Parents during the pregnancy?
"Pregnancy (this was #4 for me) went just like all my others. Due to IVF, we had one more ultrasound, and NSTs started at 32 weeks as a precaution. My IPs came to as many appointments as they could and we would facetime and text all the time. They became extended family."
How did you talk to your kids about surrogacy before, during and after the birth?
"My oldest, 14, understood the process and honestly wasn't too interested. My youngest is under 2 so he didn't even notice. My middle is 5 and she got very involved. We got both families together so our kids could meet and get to know the IPs. When we told my daughter that mommy was carrying IM's baby, she was really excited to help. She was never confused about whose baby this was. She never asked how this baby got into my tummy. She just happily accepted everything."
How was your delivery and post-pregnancy?
"I delivered via repeat c-section, and the recovery period was better than my last birth. It was great to be able to just sleep and heal. My IPs came to visit me with the baby and after we all left the hospital, I went to visit them."
What were your feelings when you saw the IP(s) hold their baby for the first time?
"Going into this I imagined this moment repeatedly, and I am so so happy to say it lived up to all my expectations. Next to my own kids, this is the best thing I have done with my life."
What was one thing you wished you would have had in your hospital bag that you forgot?
"Shampoo - i don't know why I thought the hospital was like a hotel and would have these things."
What is your relationship and contact with the Intended Parents now?
"We get along so well and were such a perfect match. We have stayed and plan to stay in contact just like family."
What were some of the benefits of working with an agency?
"The agency was really important to me. I randomly had questions about a multitude of things over the last 18 months, and this agency was always there for me day or night to answer them. They checked in with me regularly and have been another strong source of support for me throughout the IVF, pregnancy and postpartum. I definitely needed them to navigate the process, AND it makes a huge difference in stress reduction to know that they are there helping to ensure things go as smooth as possible."
What words of wisdom would you share with other/newer gestational carriers?
"I would make sure to have a clear picture of your expectations of this whole journey. Also, be patient. Everything is so exciting, and it seems to take so long in the beginning. But it honestly goes by so fast, remember to enjoy all the moments along the way, even those 67 PIO injections because all too soon you're at the end."
If you decided to be a gestational carrier again, what would be the reason?
"I would be a surrogate 100 times over - I feel like this is my one super power, and I would love to share it with as many people and change as many lives as possible. However, 2 c-sections is the limit for my body."